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The Fundamental Need To Be Cared About, Loved, Valued, and Seen

The Fundamental Need To Be Cared About, Loved, Valued, and Seen
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Today’s post shares one of the most rewarding aspects of our work at FS/A: hearing the insights and reflections of those we work with in organizations and classrooms. in this case, two cohorts of law students shared their thoughts about important attributes in those they admire.


One of the ways we help people and leaders understand the attributes they possess is by asking them to share the attributes of people they themselves admire and respect most. So, I was struck by the response to this question when teaching leadership to law students at a prominent Midwest university this past week. When I asked, “Please share the attributes of the lawyers you admire and respect most,” the answers from two different cohorts were the same. Four out of five responses were about feeling cared about when in the presence of the lawyers they admired; they included the following:

  • Kindness
  • Mentorship
  • Clear Communication
  • Empathy
  • Relate to others, to where they are at
  • Explain for understanding
  • Humility
  • Good listener, attentive
  • Compassionate
  • Approachable
  • Generous with their time

At the core of our human nature is a fundamental need to be cared about, loved, valued, and seen. As leaders, understanding and tapping into this need in our team members is crucial. This understanding can be achieved by recognizing our personal behavior biases, a critical aspect of successful leadership reflection.

It was a revelation to hear these law students identify caring as the most dominant attribute of the attorneys they admired and respected most. When I asked them about the attributes they admired and respected most in leaders, their response was, “The same, perhaps with the addition of leaders also being visionary-oriented.” This reaffirmed the students’ belief in the power of caring leadership.

I share this because it was an uplifting experience to be with these two cohorts and hear the common theme: The desire to work with people who care about them first, above all else. It was great to hear, whether this is a generational shift or a need for all of us in all occupations.

What do you think is going on in this case? We are always open to learning and growing and would love to hear your feedback and thoughts. Thank you for your caring.

#ShiftFromMeToTeam #Caring #Team #Leadership