Walk in a Man’s Moccasins
Respect doesn’t always mean agreement. It means giving someone the dignity of being recognized as a fellow human being.
There’s an old saying: “Walk a mile in a man’s moccasins before you judge him.”
It’s simple and timeless. However, living it is much more difficult.
Our instincts often push us toward quick judgments—deciding who is right, who is wrong, and who belongs where. But if we slow down and take a moment to see the world through someone else’s eyes, our understanding—and often our response—can change in unexpected ways.
When a Soldier Sees the Human Behind the Enemy
General Stanley McChrystal spent decades leading soldiers in some of the most dangerous conflicts of our time. He was trained to see the Taliban as the enemy—people to outmaneuver and defeat.
My most important takeaway from his book On Character: Choices That Define a Life was when McChrystal shared a realization he reached only after retiring: the Taliban were, in their own way, doing the best they could with what they knew.
He wasn’t excusing their actions or agreeing with their ideology, but he was recognizing something deeper: these were human beings shaped by their upbringing, culture, and experiences. They acted out based on the worldview common among many around them from the time they were small. Coming from a man who had fought them, this perspective highlights the power of empathy.
The Limits of What We Know
We are each born into the world with a unique set of God-given gifts. Then we go on a journey through the jungle of life, experiencing life in our own way. As we travel further down this path, we believe we have answers. But we do not truly have answers; we only have our perspective shaped by our limited knowledge and life experiences.
Once we understand this, we can become curious about why others might think, speak, or act in ways that seem unfamiliar or even wrong to us. Their life journeys have taught them something entirely different from ours.
Recognizing this fact is the first step toward empathy, and empathy opens the door to something equally important: human regard, even when agreement isn’t possible.
From Understanding to Human Regard
Respect doesn’t require agreement. It doesn’t require approval.
What it truly requires is the discipline to treat another person with dignity by seeing them as a fellow human being, acknowledging their story without dismissing it just because it differs from ours.
As Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. wrote in his “Letter from Birmingham Jail”:
“A just law is a man-made code that squares with the moral law or the law of God. An unjust law is a code that is out of harmony with the moral law.”
King believed that when human laws diverge from higher moral principles, injustice inevitably occurs. In other words, Until our laws align with a higher moral law, people will continue to suffer and resist.
The Impact a Changed Perspective Can Have
A man is riding a crowded train, watching a young mother struggle to keep her two small children calm. They’re loud, restless, and spilling snacks everywhere. Irritation grows. Why can’t she control them?
Then she turns to him and says softly, “I’m sorry. We just left the hospital . . . their father died this morning.”
Nothing about the children or the mother changes, only his perspective. That’s what happens when we walk, even if just for a moment, in someone else’s moccasins.
How We Can Choose Perspective in a Judgment-Heavy World
So how do we move from quick judgment to informed understanding? We start small.
- Pause judgment – Notice the urge to decide quickly. Resist it.
- Seek perspective – Ask, “What must it be like to live in their life?”
- Respond with human regard – Treat the other person with dignity, even when disagreement remains.
When we practice these habits, being right begins to give way to curiosity, and judgment to the possibility of connection.